Can we maybe not chastize people for bad situations?

I don’t come here often, so maybe it’s not a widespread problem, but I’ve now had two almost identical comments (from the same user) rebuking me for making a poor decision months ago and asking about how to handle the consequences. Is that a thing here? Can it not be? Because it’s unhelpful and frankly, I’m not feeling likely to ask more questions if that’s the kind of response I’ll get.

The comments are here, by DJClayworth. They seem to be born out of a general anti-credit view that pervades questions about loans — the general assumption on the site is that everyone has savings and is capable of saving up a few grand for a car with no trouble, thus avoiding loans altogether (see, for example, these answers, which basically boil down to “don’t get a loan”, or the top answer here, which outright states “If you cannot buy a car outright with cash, you cannot afford it. Period.”). For someone like me, who is underpaid and struggling with medical expenses, the whole “never ever take a loan” attitude seems unhelpful and harsh. Openly rebuking me for past mistakes just adds icing on the cake.

And because I feel like I have to defend myself: Without a car, I could have no income at all. By the time I managed to find a job, my savings were gone and I’d already borrowed money from relatives to try and make ends meet. I was lied to by the dealership (they quoted me a significantly smaller APR than was on the paperwork I signed then backed me into a corner about signing it) and didn’t anticipate my medical bills being so high (since I didn’t have insurance at all yet, I was not getting treatment for my problem; my insurance has the highest copay any of my doctors have ever seen, but what else can I do, not get better?). This job is awful in terms of compensation, but it’s on contract so in a few months I’ll be able to get a better one, and at least I have food on the table. My situation is not uncommon in these current troubling times, but it seems like a lot of answers assume much better economic conditions.

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3 Responses to “Can we maybe not chastize people for bad situations?”

  1. I Do not think that DJCLayworth intended to chastise you. He was trying to explain the reason you can not get a loan. However in the comments I did find this:

    @DilipSarwate haha how cute, you assume I have savings :( When I
    bought the car I was told my medical bills would be less than half of
    what they actually are ever week, so I’m trying to reduce my other
    bills so I don’t run the book to 0 every month. I guess I’ll just keep
    paying through the nose until we have two incomes again and then pay
    it off ASAP. – Yamikuronue Mar 19 at 12:38

    Your tone here was mocking towards those who were trying to help you. Perhaps thanking Dilip first before explaining that his suggestion will not work for you would have been a better tact.

  2. To address one of your points, yes there are those who are anti-debt to an extreme. Not all agree with that stance. There are times debt is appropriate but the when/where/why is not fixed, it’s a matter of opinion and judgement.
    Writing doesn’t always reflect one’s mood properly. When offended, I’d suggest giving the writer the benefit of the doubt, that a seemingly rude response wasn’t intended that way. My observation is that this board is pretty civil, but as you suggest, there’s always room for improvement. I wish you well.

  3. At time what looks OK for one, looks not so OK for others. If you feel a particular comment offensive, you can flag it for moderator attention and normally it gets removed.

    No one knows the circumstance you are in, so in general if someone comes and ask’s me how should I take a Car when if I don’t have moeny for down payment. My first answer would be “Do you need the car?”. If a car is essential to livelyhood, then one needs to mention that so we have a better idea …

    The links you have pointed out, How to Get Car Loan With No Credit

    is a really bad example, its a very vague question, I am surprised it has got answers … this guy maybe needing a car to show off … or may need it for for some emergency … without stating tons of things … even country of residence, its difficult to help

    The second question is also a very generic question I'm thinking of getting a new car … why shouldn't I LEASE one?

    its going to get generic answers.